Possibilities in the Air.
written by Staff Therapist Colin Fyfe, AMFT
Pride is upon us, the time when myriad LGBTQIA identities, and allies show up to fill the San Francisco streets with laughter, “looks'', affection, and connection. Although the pandemic paused Pride for the past two years, the Pride traditions are very familiar – the making of eye contact with a stranger while marching to Dolores Park, the debauchery with new and old friends, flirtatious movements on the dance floor and, for those that are fortunate, new sexual experiences.
Perhaps you, like many others, are waxing and waning with a broad range of emotions, from zeal to getting a case of the jitters, to the stark reality that the pandemic has put a long pause on the ways that we LGBTQIA folks show up and build community with one another. I want to assure you that your perceived mixed emotions are in fact very real. This Pride does in fact feel different from one's past. We, collectively, are emerging from a pandemic that has triggered the remembrance of the AIDS crisis, the continual showing of disproportionate health inequalities POC face, and for too many, enduring the profound feelings of isolation and loneliness within our LGBTQIA community.
Though these past two years have been emotionally, personally, and socially hard, I want to assure you that our community needs you right now. This is your time to lean into the unnerving ambiguity, allowing the possibilities to cultivate.
Do you feel like anxiety is taking over your sex life? Take our “Are you a sex worrier?” quiz to find out!
According to researcher and academic, Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, openness to new experiences is positivity associated with:
· Creativity
· Curiosity
· Higher tolerance for ambiguity
· Personal growth
· Breadth and depth of emotional experiences
· Authenticity
· Being in a state of flow
· Appreciation of beauty
Demonstration of these mentioned traits on a daily basis is highly correlated with more personal satisfaction and meaning in one’s life.
I invite whatever part(s) of you that may doubt or, perhaps, become overzealous of the Pride experience to lean into the ambiguity. I encourage you to test out those new desired ways of engaging that you have been working hard on with your therapist, allowing you to carve your edges. I challenge you to allow yourself to experience and fulfill any needs/wants and desires to cultivate either new or seasoned friendships.
And remember, Pride is fun when the entire community is having fun.
Remember,
· “Consent is always sexy”
· Use harm reduction tactics, such as alternating between one glass of water between an alcohol beverage or use Fentanyl testing slip before engaging in any party drugs if going to indulge in substances.
· Pride is a marathon not a sprint, integrate self-care when needed.
· Create space to include and share experiences with others.
Colin Fyfe, AMFT is a sex and relationship therapist in San Francisco, California. He specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community, men's mental health, and substance use issues. Colin also offers online therapy.
Follow our Instagram!
