Love and Leashes: A Lighthearted Introduction to Kink and BDSM on Netflix

In recent years, there is a growing interest for romantic stories to include elements of BDSM and kink with popular media like the Fifty Shades of Grey books and trilogy and the film 365 Days. The film Love and Leashes (2022) is a Korean romantic comedy on Netflix that delves into a BDSM relationship in a playful and approachable way. Co-worker Ji-woo discovers another co-worker Ji-hoo enjoys engaging in BDSM and kink. The two form a contractual relationship where the two engage in consensual play. Love and Leashes offers audiences a fun and helpful introduction to BDSM, highlighting that consensual kink can be a healthy part of relationships. While the film has its faults, it’s emphasis on communication and consent between partners makes this film an excellent introduction to BDSM and kink. 

Communication

When it comes to exploring kink, communication between partners is crucial. Talking about incorporating kink involves reestablishing needs and boundaries which, in turn, can offer partners an experience built off of trust and vulnerability. 

The communication between main character Ji-woo and Ji-hoo is a major strength in this film. When Ji-woo becomes Ji-hoo’s master, she dives into research on what BDSM is, what a master is, and what they do, and how to create stimulating and exciting experiences for their submissive. She then presents Ji-hoo with a BDSM contract, that she admittedly got from the internet, detailing her role as master and Ji-hoo’s role as submissive so they would have a mutual understanding of what their partnership will entail. After signing, they move forward with their new found partnership by planning their first play session. 

Ji-woo plans out most of their play sessions with a lot of thought and care so Ji-hoo will have enjoyable experiences. In a moment at work where Ji-hoo is feeling insecure about Ji-woo’s mentorship with another coworker, he makes his feelings known to Ji-woo and she is able to soothe his discomfort with an improvised play session. He even tells her specifically what he wants in that moment and she is able to acquiesce to his request. 

Throughout the film, the two remain in constant communication with one another so they can comfortably and safely engage in play together. When the story faces conflict, the communication between Ji-hoo and Ji-woo is understandably at its weakest and does eventually strengthen by the end. 

Consent 

Consent is vital to kink and BDSM because neither partner should feel forced or coerced into engaging in something they do not want. Each person will have different limits on what they consent to and having an established baseline to ensure comfort and safety is important and necessary. 

From the start of the film, the audience sees Ji-hoo and Ji-woo’s blossom from a place of vulnerability and honesty. Upon hearing about Ji-hoo’s interest in BDSM, Ji-woo assures him she will not gossip about him and comforts that his interest in kink does not bother her in any way. When their first play session does not go as planned, Ji-woo is apologetic to Ji-hoo over not he eases her remorse by offering to plan the next session. When Ji-hoo confides he is feeling insecure and is asking Ji-woo to punish him, he offers different methods she can pick from based on her comfort. 

A significant example of vulnerability and consent is seen when Ji-woo tells Ji-hoo she wants them to begin a romantic relationship, she orders him to agree thinking he will do so, and he tells her no. He does not offer an explanation; he simply says no because he does not want to and while this saddens Ji-woo, she accepts his answer and they prepare for their final play session. 

Shortcomings

While this film gets some things right when it comes to kink and BDSM, there are also things it gets wrong. The film centers Ji-hoo’s desires and does not explore Ji-woo’s. Ji-woo’s thoughts and feelings about her engagement in kink and BDSM are not expressed so we the audience do not learn much about Ji-woo’s own interests and desires because the focus is solely on Ji-hoo’s wants and needs. 

Prior to meeting Ji-hoo, Ji-woo did not have any knowledge or interest in kink and only chooses to move forward with being Ji-hoo’s master because she is interested in him romantically. This can potentially be harmful to viewers who may understand the films message as “If you like someone romantically, you must do whatever they want so you have a chance at being with them.” People will have their own story and perspective on how they were introduced to kink, the issue once again is that we do not understand Ji-woo’s interest in kink beyond Ji-hoo being interested. 

Conclusion

The film Love and Leashes differs from other kink and BDSM media that has come before it by taking a more upbeat yet sensual approach while emphasizing key kink aspects like vulnerable communication and bolstering consent. There are elements that could be improved upon and may future media address these changes so audiences can have more stories and perspectives to look to. For now, may the fun and sensual Love and Leashes act as an introductory guide for people who are interested in getting to know kink and BDSM.  

Rosalie Del Toro

Rosalie Del Toro, MA is a sex and dating coach at Rouse Relational Wellness, trained in helping you gain confidence and pleasure in your relationships.

https://www.rousetherapy.com/rosalie-del-toro-coach-sf
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