Consent vs Coercion: How Nosferatu and Babygirl Showcase Manipulation in place of Consent

Last Christmas, an erotic thriller called Babygirl and gothic horror called Nosferatu released. 

To quickly recap, Babygirl is the story of a high-powered woman named Romy played by Nicole Kidman who begins an affair with her young intern Samuel and Nosferatu tells the story of a young women named Ellen played by Lily Rose Depp who is being haunted by ancient vampire Count Orlok. Babygirl is set in the present and based in reality while Nosferatu takes place in the 1800s and delves into the supernatural. 

On paper the two films may not seem like they could relate to one another. However, Babygirl and Nosferatu explore similar concepts related to sexuality, one important concept being consent. The way both films discuss consent is worth noting because these films show examples of coercion and manipulation which audiences should NOT be associated with consent. 

Vampiric Power Play

Count Orlok’s manipulations begin when he tricks Ellen’s husband Thomas. Thomas believes he is signing a document meant to sell Orlok’s manor but cannot read it as Orlok claims it is in the language of his forefathers. In actuality, Thomas revoked his marriage to Ellen in exchange for money. 

Later, Count Orlok visits Ellen and attempts to manipulate her into giving herself to him by stating how Thomas revoked their marriage in exchange for money but Ellen refuses to believe Orlok and proclaims her love for Thomas. In seeing that she will not submit to him, Orlok exclaims if she does not willingly give herself to him within three nights, on the third night he will kill her husband and spread a plague upon the world. 

Count Orlok makes the claim that Ellen must “willingly repledge her vow” and that she cannot be “stolen.” Yet his actions put Ellen in a position where she could not comfortably say yes. While Ellen did seem sure about her decision to submit because it would save Thomas, she was forced into making it and we cannot say if she would still make this decision if she knew there was another option. 

An Uncertain Affair

In Babygirl, Romy is a successful CEO with a loving family and is also dissatisfied with her sex life with her husband. One morning on her way to work, Romy spots a young man who helps a woman from being injured by a dog. The young man turns out to be an intern at her company named Samuel and wants to be mentored by her personally. They are instantly intrigued by one another and after a couple encounters, they begin an affair fueled by sexual power play where Samuel instructs Romy and she obeys him. 

This sexual dynamic soon runs into an issue concerning boundaries when Samuel shows up at Romy’s home when her family is present. The two argue over his arrival and their relationship and Samuel eventually decides he wants be transferred elsewhere. In a panic over the possible repercussions that could create for her and her job, Romy meets with Samuel to discuss their relationship. Samuel reassures Romy that their relationship is okay as long as it is consensual which he defines for her and their relationship as “I tell you what to do and you do it.” When asked what would happen if she didn’t agree and Samuel states, he will talk to someone about transferring. Romy hesitantly agrees and they continue their affair.  

Samuel explaining to Romy what consent is and following it up with “or else” is a manipulative tactic to get something he wants. Whenever Romy hesitates at his demands, Samuel reminds her of how he can make her lose everything leading her to agree. 

Consent is Freedom

In order to have healthy functional relationships, a baseline for consent should be everyone involved must agree with what is being presented and they have the freedom to leave or say no whenever they like without fearing the consequences. A person or being saying something along the lines of, “You will do this or else…” is not consent. In viewing any type of media, people will make their own interpretation of what they are absorbing regardless of what the original intention by the creator is. Regardless of how big or small, real consent must be not contain a threat otherwise it is not consent. 

Rosalie Del Toro, MA, is an intimacy coach at Rouse Relational Wellness. Rosalie focuses on confidence, consent, and pleasure. To learn more about Rosalie and schedule a free 20-minute discovery call, visit her page.