5 questions to ask before starting couples therapy
Photo by Suzana Sousa on Unsplash
The idea of couples therapy may conjure up images of a marriage on the brink of disaster, but it can be an excellent option for couples at ANY stage. However, starting before an all-out crisis or when you want to make significant life changes is especially beneficial. Whether you need help communicating, addressing concerns around sex, finances, betrayal trauma, or simply want to reduce conflict and build connection, couples therapy can offer some much needed guidance.
What is couples therapy?
(This one’s a freebee) Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps couples improve their relationships and build intimacy. The therapist will provide guidance and support as they work with the couple to identify patterns within their communication that could be causing problems in their relationship. They will then provide strategies for how the couple can address these issues to foster healthier dynamics between them. During couples therapy, couples can also learn how to express themselves better and resolve conflicts when they arise.
What can couples therapy address?
Couples therapy is a collaborative process that helps two people strengthen their relationship by developing better communication skills and problem-solving techniques. It can help with a variety of issues, including:
Communication problems
Different sex drives
Disagreements about money or parenting styles
Learn to fight in healthier ways
Infidelity or other betrayal trauma
Planning significant life changes; kids, marriage, moving, etc
Open relationships. Beginning, in the middle, or closing.
Therapy can also be used to work through pain caused by traumatic events that have impacted the relationship, such as a death in the family or a sudden illness.
When should I avoid or delay couples therapy?
In some instances, couples therapy may hinder the treatment or even harm one or all partners. If there is ongoing violence or unwanted touch, couples therapy will potentially further put the abused partner at risk. If you or someone you know needs help, please follow these resources.
Other times, active substance misuse or abuse can impact the progress of couples therapy.
What type of couples therapy is right for me?
When it comes to couples therapies there are many different methods available depending on the therapist’s specialty. Popular modalities include:
Gottman Method Couples Therapy focuses on building trust and connection between couples through guided worksheets and skill-building
Emotionally Focused Therapy is designed to create secure bonds between partners through honing in on the underlying emotions.
Relational Life Therapy is based on helping partners resolve conflicts while creating deeper trust within their relationship. RLT is particularly good for relationships with narcissism, borderline personality, and other trauma-related relationship issues
Developmental Model looks at relationships as you would human development and helps couples build healthy differentiation.
While each approach offers something different, they all have one common goal - helping couples build strong relationships.
Can I start if there’s a small issue in our relationship?
Couples therapy is a great way to start addressing problems before they become too severe and potentially damaging to the relationship. Through couples therapy, couples can develop better communication skills, stop fighting, and gain insight into the underlying issues behind their disagreements. With couples therapy, couples can work with a professional virtually or in-person to identify and address their problems in a safe space. Moreover, couples may be able to identify individual triggers that could cause further conflict and work together to develop strategies for working through them in a mutually beneficial way. So if couples are encountering small relationship problems, online couples therapy is an excellent way to resolve those issues before they get out of hand!
When should we try sex therapy?
Sex therapy is another form of counseling that focuses on specific sexual issues within a relationship. One example could be addressing how anxiety or trauma may appear in the couple's sex life or talking about how pain can affect someone's desire for sex. Sex therapists will often work with the couple to explore any underlying issues contributing to problems in the bedroom and offer suggestions for overcoming those difficulties through activities like guided masturbation or sensate focus exercises. A sex therapist can also help teach couples how to voice their desires in a safe and comfortable way for both partners.
If you’re considering couples therapy for your relationship but aren’t sure if it's right for you, remember that it can be a precious tool for improving communication and deepening the connection between two people who love each other. It isn't recommended for those experiencing active violence in their relationship since this kind of scenario requires specialized attention from trained professionals knowledgeable about abuse dynamics in intimate relationships. But if your relationship could benefit from help with communication, resolving conflicts or planning for big life changes, don't hesitate to call your local therapist today and request an intake session! You might just find that couples therapy could be the answer you need!