We often feel overwhelmed with family get-togethers, work parties, and social events as the holidays approach. While it's supposed to be a time of joy, we tend to put too much pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect. This can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, and burnout. Last year, Marjorie Boggs Vazquez, AMFT spoke on navigating conflict during the holidays. Today, we'll build off of that and discuss the importance of self-compassion and boundaries during the holidays and share some communication skills using DBT techniques. We'll also discuss the importance of setting boundaries, resourcing oneself, and ensuring we care for our mental health.

• Setting boundaries is essential in avoiding burnout during the holiday season. It’s okay to say no to things that you don't want to do or that will exhaust you. Saying no can be difficult, and many people take on more than they can handle. However, setting boundaries is necessary for protecting our mental health. If you struggle with saying no, DBT techniques can help. For example, learn to communicate assertively and avoid getting caught up in unhelpful dialogue. Instead, stay true to your own emotions and values.

• Another important aspect of the holiday season is self-compassion. Being kind and gentle with yourself is important during the holidays. Remember that you don't have to be perfect and everyone has limits. Practice self-compassion when things don't go as planned and learn to let go of unrealistic expectations. It's important to recognize that you are doing your best and that's enough.

• Resourcing oneself is also important during the holiday season. Identify who your supportive friends are and reach out to them when you feel overwhelmed. Journaling can be helpful in processing your thoughts and emotions. Engage in community activities that make you feel good and bring you joy. Cooking, baking, or listening to music can help create a sense of pleasure and relaxation.

• Boundaries don't have to harm relationships, but instead create the space for authentic connection. It's important to learn how to say “no” with compassion and love; setting boundaries won't just make you feel better but also allow others to respect your needs. It’s alright to disappoint others to take care of yourself. If you continue to struggle with boundaries or need in-depth support and guidance, consider joining the Anxiously Intimate Men's Retreat. This program provides both group and individual counseling, offering a safe and supportive space to connect with others and build strong relationships.

As we approach the holiday season, it's important to remember to care for ourselves by setting boundaries and practicing self-compassion. Saying no is allowed and can be done with love and empathy. Resourcing oneself helps us stay grounded when everything feels overwhelming.

Reflective Questions:

• Are there any areas of your life that you would like to set better boundaries in during the holidays?

• How can you prioritize yourself without feeling overwhelmed or guilty during the holiday season?

• What practices could you implement in order to practice self-care and self-compassion while dealing with family obligations this holiday season?

• How do you show yourself grace and kindness while navigating complicated family dynamics?

• What strategies can you use to engage joyful activities that bring you comfort during the holidays?

Looking for a booster in the middle of holiday season?

At the Anxiously Intimate Men's Retreat, we provide comprehensive support for men seeking to find their true selves and better their relationships. Join us for a refreshing, transformative experience to improve your mental and emotional well-being this coming December 2nd and 3rd, 2023 in San Francisco.