Navigating relationship issues during cancer treatment
For Breast Cancer Awareness Month we wanted to share some thoughts on the impact of cancer and cancer treatment on sex and relationships. Cancer treatment can be a scary time for any couple, but there are some common relationship concerns that often come up during this time. This blog post will discuss those concerns and offer tips for how to deal with them. Whether you're just starting cancer treatment or have been through it already, these tips can help you maintain your relationship with your partner.
Different reactions to diagnosis
When faced with a cancer diagnosis, partners often react in very different ways. In some cases, one partner may be immediately accepting of the situation, while the other may feel deeply conflicted and even go into denial. These differences can often lead to conflict within the relationship, particularly when it comes to managing time and understanding each other's needs.
For example, if one partner is more focused on intimacy and connection, while the other prioritizes rest and spare time, it can be challenging for them to agree on how to spend their time together. Similarly, if one partner displays more patience than the other, this can create tension as they struggle to balance their competing needs. Ultimately, these differences can strain a relationship if left unaddressed.
However, it is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way for partners to react to a cancer diagnosis - rather, it is simply a natural response to such a traumatic event. By keeping communication open and honest at all times, partners can work through any difficulties they may encounter and maintain intimacy and connection throughout this difficult time.
Communicating feelings
When dealing with cancer treatment, it can sometimes be difficult to communicate our feelings and emotions to our partners. This is especially true when there are differences in how each partner views the situation, or when one partner is going through treatment while the other is watching from the sidelines. In these situations, it is important to remember that communication should come from a place of collaboration and intimacy, rather than simply trying to convince or persuade your partner of your viewpoint.
Beyond using explicit language to describe our thoughts and feelings, we must also be cognizant of the subtle clues we give off through our body language and tone of voice. By paying careful attention to how we approach our partner, what assumptions we make about them, and how we can involve them more fully in the conversation, we can create a sense of connection that ultimately leads to better communication overall. After all, as humans beings, we are hardwired for intimacy and connection – they are a vital part of how we build relationships with others and navigate through challenges like cancer treatment together as a team. So whatever your role in this process may be, remember always to lead from curiosity and compassion instead of assuming you know everything there is to know about what your partner needs or wants. Despite differences in gender or personal preferences, all relationships benefit from honest dialogue grounded in empathy for another's perspective. And with that in mind, you can help ensure that you and your loved one feel supported throughout this potentially difficult experience by creating an open space for meaningful communication at all times.
Sexual difficulties
When facing the challenges of cancer treatment, many people experience difficulties with their sex lives, including a loss of libido and pain during sex. Loss of libido after cancer treatment is common — between 40 and 65% of female cancer survivors report loss of sexual desire. Furthermore, as many as 50% of gynecologic cancer survivors and 60% of rectal cancer survivors report pain during sex.
To best overcome these obstacles, it is important to explore many different strategies and methods for experiencing pleasure. One approach that can be particularly effective is to work on changing your expectations and focus points during intimacy. This may involve trying out new techniques, such as exploring different touch or massage techniques or experimenting with more creative forms of erotic expression.
Additionally, connecting with other individuals facing similar challenges can help to foster a sense of intimacy and connection that can be key to restoring sexual satisfaction. For men specifically, many different resources are available, such as support groups or online forums where you can learn about holistic treatments and other strategies for managing sexual difficulties during cancer treatment. With the right information and support, you can find ways to maintain and reconnect with intimacy in your relationship throughout this challenging time.
Seeking help
When dealing with cancer, it is important to seek emotional support in order to cope with the often-stressful situation. There are a variety of different ways to connect and get help, including support groups, process groups, individual therapy, couples therapy, spiritual practices, and creative outlets. For example, intimacy and connection can be fostered through participation in a support group or sharing vulnerability through an individual or couples therapy session. Meanwhile, men can access resources specifically geared toward their unique needs and concerns through a dedicated men's group or other men's activities.
Ultimately, whatever your preferences or needs may be, there are many options available for connecting with others and finding the emotional support you need during your cancer treatment journey. So whether you seek help around intimacy or intimacy issues around cancer treatment itself - you will find the tools for healing that feel right for you. And remember that it is okay to ask for help; our strength lies in our willingness to open ourselves up to healing from wounds that we cannot cure alone.
With the help of these sources of support and guidance, you can heal from even the darkest moment. You truly have everything within you to rise above cancer - all you need is the courage and desire to seek out what feels right for you. So find the healing that works best for you today!
More info:
If you and your partner(s) are struggling with communication issues, stop by our next FREE live event where staff therapist Ruben Velazquez will present “Reviving Relationships: Helping Couples Navigate Conflict.” Click below to reserve your spot and receive reminders for the event:
I was recently asked to join an expert roundup on ways to build confidence during cancer treatment. Not only was I appreciative of the request, but I was so moved by the responses of my colleagues in the report:
Additional cancer resources:
Sources: National Cancer Institute and American Cancer Society